A Contradictory Poem

I grew up with the start of this poem, and never heard the end. Anyone know it?

When I was growing up, my Mum used to recite a poem. She had forgotten the rest of it, so I never learnt all of it. But I’m curious to see if I can find the rest of it somewhere. A cursory look on the internet hasn’t found it. (I have found another contradictory poem though).

Each line is a contradiction.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Bugs and Fleas!
Come to the circus! If you please.
Admission is free; pay at the door.
Bring your own seat; sit on the floor.

The first live act is a stuffed elephant
eating cooked bananas raw;
The second act is a female man
eating vinegar off a fork.

And then it continued, with ten acts in all at the circus.

Right, webiverse. Does anyone know the rest of the poem?

Author: phetheringtonnz

Film Producer, Director, Lecturer. From NZ based in London.

5 thoughts on “A Contradictory Poem”

    1. Well, once I find out the rest of it, it’ll go to at least 4 more stanzas.
      I’m sure a smart songwriter could write a contradictory song with the same idea…

  1. Pretty sure Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals have already done that quite a bit though, coming to think of it 😉

  2. My preschool teacher used to read us this “Contradiction” story, I remember a little bit of it, it went: We’re putting on a show, admission is free pay at the door. Grab a seat and sit on the floor… etc… I need to find that whole thing.

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